Once upon a time… (that’s how all good stories begin, right?) there was a girl. Her name was Mary, and she loved books and the reading branch on the apple tree in her backyard. Despite her name, she’s pretty sure she was more like Laura (Ingalls Wilder that is) than Mary (Ingalls), but both Laura & Mary were her familiar friends throughout childhood. Her parents probably should have realized her future as an engineer when she sat on the porch and tallied (by color, type, etc) the cars that drove by her house, or when she labeled and cataloged their home library, or spent hours hammering nails into scrap wood, but she was sure she would be a teacher when she grew up.
Of course, that girl was me. Mary. I’m the oldest of six children and I have amazing parents who showed me the most important things parents can: God & church come first, and love is unconditional.
I grew up, decided I loved physics and studied it, then realized I really loved *applied* physics – aka engineering, so I went to engineering school and there I met my (now) husband. He has always made sure I didn’t forget those two important truths my parents taught me, and, in fact, has helped me grow in my understanding of both. We got married, built a house (managed to stay married through the house building process), and were blessed with a baby boy. I decided that as much as I loved engineering – and as much as (for better, or likely for worse) I defined myself as an engineer – I’d rather be home with our baby, and thus began what felt like a whole new life.
That colicky, adorable, lovely and challenging baby grew into a spirited, hilarious toddler; and then was joined by a slightly more easygoing brother. I found joy in helping other parents breastfeed and volunteered with a parent-to-parent support group. Life as a parent was challenging, but also brought so much joy. Then it came time to consider school for our first little boy.
I grew up with the most amazing public schools – teachers who cared deeply and filled their classrooms with terrariums and reading nooks and love, outdoor space to roam, arts teachers who were experts in their field, librarians who knew just the right books, and an educational system that hadn’t yet decided to test students until they could take no more. I had always intended to send my kids to public school – leaning on my experience and assuming I could find the same for them. However, unable to find that school in today’s world, and after much deliberation, we decided we would homeschool for ‘just a while’… and, as such things go, we’re still homeschooling years later.
I ‘met’ Charlotte Mason 2 years into schooling and realized homeschooling wasn’t just a temporary alternative, but rather education is a life and really exactly the kind of life we want to give our children. Learning with my children has reminded me of the wonder that is our natural world. That wonder is what led me to engineering in the first place, but I lost it somewhere along the way (probably in Excel spreadsheet #5342).
Shortly after I met Miss Mason I started the most difficult time of my life. I buried two babies who were stillborn, moved cross country, and then buried my dad. To top it all off, my husband was diagnosed with melanoma and needed invasive surgery. We’re a year out from his surgeries, and, Glory to God, his prognosis is good. It’s been 2 years since our first baby died. But, you know, some days I’m still sad. Most days my anxiety is a familiar friend. And, many days over the last two years, I was holding on for dear life and I can say that our homeschool definitely did not look like the ideal Charlotte Mason homeschool. But, I have clung to the ideal as a guidepost and bit by bit we are getting there.
I guess the last couple of years means that means that I haven’t quite made it to the happily ever after part of my story yet, but I am pretty sure that rarely, if ever, comes on this earth. I’m okay being in that messy middle part of the story where some days are downright scary, but the good outweighs the bad, and there is always hope where there is faith. I have never been so thankful to be walking such a challenging road.
I have gleaned so much knowledge from that which others have shared on the internet, which I suppose gave me the crazy idea to join the fray. Of course, I expect you’ll mostly be reading my blog to learn from my mistakes, but I’ve never been shy to point out that I am no example to be followed. If my blunders can help others, I’ll share them and happily laugh (or cry) at myself with you. And, maybe, just maybe, in the midst of my wandering and wondering, I’ll be able to share some seeds of knowledge as well.
Wishing you the wonder of a child,
Mary